


Safe and Sound

by unbrokengibberish



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3478637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unbrokengibberish/pseuds/unbrokengibberish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s been a month since Ian took Yevgeny on that trip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe and Sound

It’s been a month since Ian took Yevgeny on that trip. He realizes now how wrong and bad and dangerous that was. He doesn’t blame Svetlana. He blames himself. But he can’t stop himself from wanting to hear the baby laugh and see the baby smile and take care of the baby like he did for all those months over the summer. 

It’s been a month since Ian’s seen Yevgeny. 

///

He wakes up in the hospital, groggy and unsure of where he is. The nurse tells him he’s in some psych ward and all he can think of is where is Mickey? Where is Yevgeny? He has a vague, distant, dream-like memory of seeing them both. He can almost still feel Mickey’s arms around him. He remembers brushing his hand over soft baby skin and placing a kiss on the crown of the baby’s head, but he doesn’t remember being here. 

This is a mistake. He needs to be home. He needs to take care of Yevgeny. He doesn’t want Mickey to have to do it alone. He knows he’s not ready for that yet. 

He tries to walk out of the door later telling the guard that he knows Mickey is waiting for him and Yevgeny needs him and he wants to see Fiona. He needs her to tell him that everything will be alright. He needs to make sure that the baby is okay. But he is pushed up against the wall roughly and he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand why they are holding him here. It’s a mistake. He isn’t like these people. He isn’t Monica. He would never hurt that baby. 

///

Fiona and Mickey show up later. Fiona wraps her arms around him and he can feel the excitement. 

“Are we gonna go home?” he asks her, as she pulls away from him. 

“In a couple days,” she says in a happy voice. He can’t really think after that. He shouldn’t be here. Why is Fiona letting him stay here? 

Mickey wraps his arms around Ian and rubs at his shoulder, but Ian doesn’t really notice. He just wants to go home. He wants to make sure Yevgeny is okay. Where is he? 

Fiona has them sit down and Ian sits on the edge of the table, because he doesn’t care. The ping pong ball behind Fiona’s head makes it hard to hear her words. He asks where Yevgeny is and Mickey tells him that he’s safe and at home. Home. Home where Ian should be, but the TV set behind Mickey makes it even harder to concentrate. 

He stands up to leave. Feeling drained. At least he knows that Yevgeny is okay. Fiona asks where he’s going and he tells her he’s tired. He doesn’t look at Mickey. 

///

Later, the doctor tells him that he put the baby in harm’s way. 

He argues. Tells her he loves that baby. He loves that baby more than anything else in his life. He would never hurt Yevgeny. He just wanted to take him on a trip, something Monica never did with them. He just wanted to make sure that he was having fun. He was having fun. Ian can remember the baby smiling and laughing. 

The rest of it is foggy. He remembers an old lady and the police trying to take Yevgeny from him. He didn’t want them to take the baby, his baby. He just wanted to take him on a trip. 

The nurse tells him that he shows signs of Bipolar Disorder and he doesn’t want to think about it. He isn’t like Monica. He will never be like Monica. He just wants to get home to Yevgeny and make sure that he is okay. 

///

Ian is released a few days later. Lip and Fiona are there to take him home, but when they miss the turn to Mickey’s house, Ian looks out the back window. 

“Where’s Mickey?” he asks. His voice sounds smaller than he means for it to. He’s just so tired. 

Lip and Fiona exchange a nervous glance. 

“He’s busy, but he’ll come by later,” Fiona assures him. He doesn’t like the voice she’s using. It’s her I-don’t-want-to-make-the-situation-worse voice and he can’t stand it. It’s too high pitched and light. He just got out of the hospital. A hospital they had made him check into even though he’s fine. 

Lip pulls up in front of the Gallagher house and Ian feels like he hasn’t been here in ages. Not since before Mickey came out, Ian thinks to himself. 

They get out of the car and Lip and Fiona help him up to his old room. There are fresh sheets on the bed and Fiona is smiling at him with a worried look in her eyes so he smiles back at her, tells her he’s tired. 

Fiona tells him that she has to go to work, but Debbie will be here and then Fiona will be back later for dinner. 

///

Ian flushes the pills when no one is paying attention. No one ever pays attention. They think he’s sick--they think he’s like Monica, and still they leave him alone. He doesn’t need the pills. Debbie hears the toilet flush and comes down the stairs to check on him. 

“What happened to the pills, Ian?” she asks, like she’s the older sibling. She stares at the empty canisters on the counter. 

“I don’t need them,” he replies. He leaves her and her scared, shocked expression in the house and goes to sit in the backyard. He just wants to see Yevgeny. He still doesn’t know if the baby is okay. 

Fiona comes home an hour later. Tries to make him feel guilty for flushing the pills. She thinks he’s just like Monica. 

“I love that baby,” he emphasizes. “I’m not any more like Monica than you are.” He sits back in his chair, stares past her. She stares at him and he sees worry settle over her face, but it’s more than that. She’s angry. He doesn’t know at whom, but she’s angry. She huffs and turns around to go back into the house. Good. He didn’t like her fake smile anyway. 

///

He’s almost asleep when he hears the bedroom door creak open. He waits for whatever lecture Fiona is going to give him, wonders if Lip is going to tell him he’s being selfish. He waits. 

“Hey.” And that wasn’t the voice he was expecting. He turns halfway around in the bed and sees Mickey standing there. 

“What happened to your face?” he asks. Mickey steps closer to the bed and Ian turns around more fully, so his body is now facing Mickey as Mickey looks down on him. 

“I, uh, I fell,” Mickey replies with a small smile as if he wants to laugh, but he doesn’t think anything is funny anymore. Ian nods, wants to ask about Yevgeny, but before he can Mickey says, “You think there’s some more room in that bed?” 

Ian looks down, because really there’s barely enough room for him, but he’d do anything at this point to get Mickey next to him. He shuffles backwards, pressing himself into the wall. Mickey takes off his sweatshirt, Ian’s sweatshirt, and throws it on the floor before he climbs onto the bed and lays down facing Ian. His hand grabs at Ian’s elbow and he presses his forehead fully against Ian’s. Ian takes a deep breath. 

“How’s Yevgeny?” he asks, because he can’t help himself. 

“He’s okay,” Mickey says, leaning forward to kiss him gently on the lips. Ian falls asleep soon after that. 

///

He wakes with a start. It’s morning and something is holding him down. He looks down to see Mickey, sprawled out on top of him, clinging to him like some kind of monkey, like if he lets go Ian is going to disappear again. 

Ian smiles down at him, before he sees the thing move out of the corner of his eye. It’s one of them. One of the people that wanted to take Yevgeny. He screams, because he doesn’t want that in his house. Why is it here? 

Mickey wakes up and looks at him in panic. Fiona comes to the door, quickly followed by Debbie. The thing stares at him. He pushes Mickey off and runs out the door passed Fiona and Debbie to grab the bat from down the hall. 

“Ian, what are you doing?” 

He can’t tell them to back away, can’t find his voice. He chases the thing down the stairs. He doesn’t want it here. He doesn’t want anything else to hurt Yevgeny. He has to protect his family. He swings the bat and hits the stair railing almost knocking one loose. 

He runs into the living room, following it. He hears Frank grumble from the couch and goes to shield himself between the thing and Frank, because Frank deserves it. 

“Ian!” Fiona, Debbie, and Mickey all try to stop him, and he doesn’t understand why they are okay with the thing being in the house. He just wants to protect Yevgeny. 

Mickey gets the bat from his hand, eventually, telling him that nothing is there, everything is okay, Yevgeny is safe with Svetlana. 

Ian just feels tired. He’s tired of feeling this way. He’s tired of wanting to protect everyone and no one seeing that he’s trying so hard. He thinks maybe he should try the pills. 

He leans into Mickey’s hand on his neck and sighs deeply. He’s so tired. “I’ll take the meds.” 

///

He can feel Mickey staring at him as they wait in the clinic. It took him three cigarettes and a handful of “it’s okays” and “I’ll be right heres” from Mickey to finally get him to go in. He sees that this is what he needs to do. But he doesn’t want to be like Monica. 

It’s as if Mickey knows what he’s thinking, because after they leave the clinic, when they are warm and safe in the car, Mickey turns to him and says, “I’ll talk to Svetlana about the baby.” 

And Ian knows what he’s saying. Ian knows that what he did was wrong. He realizes that he should have told Svetlana or Mickey that he was taking the baby. He doesn’t understand to the fullest extent why everyone is still freaking out, but the prescription sits heavy in his lap and he thinks that he’s starting to get it. 

///

It’s been a month since Ian took Yevgeny for the drive. It’s been three weeks since he’s been taking his meds. He feels better. He’s still tired sometimes. The second trip to prison didn’t help things at all, but he got out and everything is okay. Mickey is here and he is healthy and Fiona is doing good and Lip seems to be doing well at college. Debbie seems happy and Carl is out of juvie early, because of some plea bargain with the courts. Liam is even talking more. 

But Ian hasn’t seen Yevgeny since that drive. 

He understands why Svetlana doesn’t trust him. He doesn’t know how he could have done that. Why did he do that? He just didn’t want to be like Monica. He wanted to take the baby with him instead of leaving him behind, but he knows he shouldn’t have. 

Mickey tells him that he is trying to talk to Svetlana, reason with her that Ian is getting better and that he is sorry. He is sorry. He wants to tell her that himself, but she won’t come near him. She won’t let Mickey alone with the baby either, makes sure she’s with him so he won’t sneak Ian in. 

Ian tries to keep himself from crying when Mickey first tells him that Svetlana doesn’t want him to see Yevgeny, but the medicine is working against his body in as many ways as it is working with him and he cries himself to sleep on Mickey’s shoulder that night. 

He’s sitting on the couch now. Mickey off visiting Svetlana and Yevgeny at the house. He told her they could stay there again, since Veronica had returned home and Mickey had been spending his nights at the Gallagher’s anyway. 

He hears the door open and then he hears a giggle. 

A giggle that he hasn’t heard in a month and he turns to the door and sees the baby, that baby that he loves so much in the arms of the man he loves so much, standing next to the woman whose life was nothing like she wanted. 

He stays seated because he is afraid that if he breathes too hard this moment will pass, fade into the dream he’s sure it is, but then Svetlana rolls her eyes and scoffs. 

“You said he’s better,” she accuses Mickey, but Mickey is smiling at the look on Ian’s face. 

“He is. He’s great,” Mickey replies, and even Ian knows that’s a load of shit, but Yevgeny is in the same room as him and he could cry for joy. He can see with his own eyes that the baby is okay and all he wants to do is scoop him into his arms and breath in that baby smell and hold him close and promise him that he’ll never let anything bad happen to him again. He wants to say he’s sorry. 

So he does.

He tells Svetlana he’s sorry and she rolls her eyes, but he can almost see a smile on the corner of her mouth. 

“I will be here to watch you with him,” she says, sitting down on the armchair. 

Mickey walks over to the couch and sits next to Ian, Yevgeny still in his arms and then the baby turns his big blue eyes onto Ian and smiles. Ian’s heart melts. He reaches a hand out to stroke the baby’s arm, as gently as possible. 

Yevgeny’s hands clutch in Ian’s direction and Ian looks at Svetlana over the baby’s shoulder and she nods tensely. Ian reaches out and Mickey scoots closer, letting Ian take Yevgeny from him. 

Ian sighs a breath of relief as he kisses the top of Yevgeny’s head. He holds the baby close to his chest. 

“I’m so sorry. I love you,” he breathes out, relaxing into the couch with his family all around him.

**Author's Note:**

> @mckeysgallagher on tumblr


End file.
